an open mind’s blog

Wow...huge lack of updating going on here. Time to remedy that. Pretty much, life has been insane. It is now just calming down. I am home for the summer...finals are over. I still have to find a job, though I must say, it is amazing having NO OBLIGATIONS whatsoever for the first time in I don't even know how long. This can't continue though...I am quickly running out of money and that is not a good thing. I keep thinking of things I want to buy...Stranger Than Fiction on DVD, an IPOD. Yep...on top of that, just the normal saving money for the next school year thing. This could be interesting. I am putting in an application at a restaurant today...I have never waitressed before. I know it is not super good money, but this is my last real summer to actually be (somewhat) carefree, and I don't want to stress myself out like I did working at the bank last summer, no matter how good the pay was.

I have this sudden burst of creative energy...actually, creative energy is probably not the word for it. Curious energy? OK, that sounds stupid, but it is true. I want to go places and see things. I can get lost in the Travel Channel. I want to listen to every kind of music that is out there, see everything there is to see. Yeah, I'm a little restless. It happens.

It's been awhile, hasn't it? A lot has been happening...the dude(s) I was rambling on about a month or so ago are history...jerks is the best word. But anyways, that doesn't matter anymore, because I actually found someone else. He is a guy who never left me wondering what he was thinking; he didn't make things hard. With the other guys, it always seemed like I was working too hard to get something to pan out. But not this guy. I actually didn't think I liked him as more than a friend, but he kept pursuing. Most guys would probably have given up, but not him. Good thing. This is the first time I have EVER been in a relationship without feeling trapped. This is the first time I've actually been happy with who I am seeing. It's a good feeling. I was starting to think that feeling didn't exist.

Enough about that. This week is a little crazy. I have a paper and a group project due on thursday. I've been working on the group project, but the paper, not so much. It's a short thing, only 4 pages, but I'm at a loss. I have no idea what to write. I'm usually good with paper writing, but for some reason, I'm just not feeling this one. I've been experiencing severe drops in motivation lately. I just want to hammer out this paper so I can take my mind off it...I'm pretty much finished until finals once I turn these things in. AND...one week from tomorrow is the big 2-1!! I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited.

That's it for now. Maybe I'll actually update in a reasonable amount of time next time.

Wow, so my previous entry was pretty lame. I guess it's pretty pointless to make an entry about promising to make a worthwhile entry. May as well just wait until I'm ready to write a real entry and just do it.

I realized something today. Pictures taken in other countries always look more beautiful than pictures taken in the US. Just a random thought.

Spring/Easter break starts tomorrow. My brain is already on vacation. There is currently a group standing outside my window on the inner quad being really loud and annoying. I guess they are outside, and it is nice, so I should probably not get annoyed. I have a ton of work to do during break, but am I getting a jump start on it now? Nooo. Not when I'm waiting for a phone call AND there is an office marathon on tonight. And I'm just lazy.

I also registered for classes today. I decided to pick up a Psychology minor. Being a Communication major leaves a lot of room for electives, and I've always loved psych, so why not? I'm pretty excited about it. It was a little scary though - registering for the last time ever. I will be a senior! It's kind of great, because I get to take classes like beginning bowling and raquetball to help fulfill the stupid small electives. Hopefully it will make the year a little easier. Maybe I should stop thinking about next year and actually focus on getting a summer job. That might be smart.

Wow, have I been lax with my updating or what?

And this is going to be a pretty stingy post too - it's not that I have nothing to write - quite the opposite really. My life has just been so insane lately that I have not found time to keep tabs on this. But- there will be a decent update soon - I promise.

Jose Gonzalez - Heartbeats

I love this song. I think it is originally done by The Knife...but this version is so gorgeous.

It's been a little bit since I've updated, so why don't I do that now. It's March...the month of spring. I cannot wait. I have never been more ready for spring in my life. I'm tired of the cold, I'm tired of having to dig my car out every time I want to drive it.

I was just on "spring break". I put it in quotes because we only got two days off class...at least I get a full week at Easter. This was the first break that I just did not care about. I used to look forward to break like it was a holiday, and dread going back to school with every fiber in my body. But given recent events, I just did not care this time. I did not get the usual feeling of happiness driving out of town to head home, and I did not feel the usual impending doom of sunday, when I had to go back. I think I've finally realized that my life will happen here, not at home. I love being with family - it is the most important thing to me - but nothing is going to happen at home. I mean, not a ton has been happening here, but theres always the possiblity here. We shall see...sometimes I feel my expectations are a little too lofty.

What is your favorite day of the week?

FRIDAY. Without a doubt. It's like The Cure said, "Friday I'm in Love"...ok, I have yet to be in love on a Friday, but I do love Friday. It's the one day of the week where you can do nothing guilt-free. Classes finish, and you have the entire weekend spread out before you. I feel like theres pressure to do work on Saturday and Sunday, but not Friday. You can just say, "I just spent the entire week hard at work", and feel no guilt. Well, at least I don't.  Also, when I'm home, Friday night is pizza night. Whats not to love?

I don't know why, but I find that holding a full coffee cup or tea cup, etc. while I write makes me feel more contemplative. Call me crazy...but it's true. Something about holding that warm mug just makes me think...especially if it's my mug with all of the authors on it. Really, how much more inspiration do you need?

This week has the potential to be bad...I have two tests. Right at the end of the week. One on thursday, and one on friday. I have the feeling my friday one won't be given a thought until thursday's is over. One the upside, I do have all week to study. And believe me, I need that time.

I'm pretty determined to make this a good week.

And it's saturday morning. I really love saturdays. Granted, I have spent the last few a little upset, but in the big picture, saturday is awesome. Being that I have my own room, I get up when I want, watch what I want, make my coffee, and just relax. I have the whole day ahead of me to get things accomplished. And you know what? I don't mind doing work on saturdays. I think it's because I don't HAVE to do work on saturdays. Thats what sunday is for. But every little bit I get done saturday, the less I have to worry about tomorrow. Ok, you're probably thinking I'm the dullest person ever to write a blog, but I swear, I'm not. I just get my joy out of odd things.

So - no big plans this weekend. Could always change. Last saturday night had an interesting turn of events, and I would be lying if I said I didn't want it to happen again. I'm not holding my breath. No matter what goes on today, I have tomorrow to look forward to. I'm heading to Pittsburgh to my sister and brother-in-law's place to celebrate my other sister's birthday. Lets hope my mood lasts throughout today! I'm optimistic......

I normally love Valentine's Day. I've never actually been in a relationship during it, but I always looked forward to it. This year, because of underlying circumstances, I'm having a rough time. And it's not because its valentines day - I would still feel the same if today was March 14. I don't actually know why I'm writing about this...I think I'm going to stop now,